I don’t know how to render it in print, but be assured that I let out a defeated sigh after reading this. It’s so disappointing how immature this whole idea is.
Here’s the thing about human relationships: One the one hand, many (perhaps even most) people are driven by the powerful, unrelenting desire to be in a romantic partnership. But on the other hand, human beings are selfish pit-vipers who are incapable of putting others’ needs before their own, and will therefore stab you in the back when you are at your most trusting and vulnerable. Knowing these facts, and learning to cope with them, is part of growing up, jeez you guys!
Okay seriously though, maaaaybe I’m not the best person to talk to about these issues. I’ve always felt that, just because I’m content to stick to one partner, my psychological quirks shouldn’t dictate the behavior of others. And while I might be willing to make a promise like that, I have never insisted on fidelity from my partners. I hate the idea that anyone would wind up either feeling miserable for wanting to cheat on me and stopping themselves, or feeling guilty for actually cheating.
Also, asking someone to be “loyal” to me seems like an unjustifiably entitled request. I have no right to tell another person what she should do with her body, or her heart, or to ask her to consider my supposed feelings as part of her decision-making processes.
Not that I think I’m any sort of example. Do what you like! But try to be honest, and maybe discuss opening your relationship before you go gallivanting off? Cheating is not great, I guess. Personally, I think it’s awful when men cheat on women.