I’ve been oddly fascinated by this reddit thread about guys missing obvious “signals” from interested women. Why? Oh, there’s all sorts of reasons. First of all, there’s so much subtle fiction in that thread it puts the New Yorker to shame. Second, anything that explodes the myth that women can pretty much get laid any time they want deserves at least a cursory glance (considering that this false belief is the the source of the inter-gender bullshit that ruins things like… well, reddit, in fact). Thirdly, I figured that there might be some insight into dudely thought processes. Yes, I have been a dude my whole life, but I find the male gender utterly baffling.
Mostly though, I read it because I thought it would provide a reliable target for my own smug superiority; I’m laughing at some of these fools since, personally, I have never missed a signal, either obvious or vague, because no one has ever sent me any. (Which is totally fine. Hey, I’ve never been to Hawaii either, it’s no big deal. Not everybody gets to do everything.)
Anyway, I noticed a kind of pattern emerging amongst the responses. A lot of stories revolve around dudes missing signals from women in whom they were not at all interested. So many in fact, that I think this is a fairly common dude-ish blind spot. And what’s fascinating about all this is when you cross reference that blind spot with the fact that men tend to see signals that don’t exist coming from women that they are interested in. Curious, no?
So what all this means when you boil it down is this: Whether or not a man sees any signals of interest (real or imagined) from a women has nothing to do with anything the woman has any control over; it is based entirely on the attraction the man feels for that particular woman. Oh, Christ that’s depressing.
I would like to live alone on the Moon, please, if someone could make that happen.