Quick notes

I don’t have anyone I can talk to about these things at work, so I’m just going to put them here.

  • I saw someone playing with a Nintendo 3DS on the train today. Not a phone! A good ol’ fashioned dedicated video game device! Bless their soul (really); I own one, but I’d never have the guts to use it in public. I am a fat, glasses-wearing nerd, I don’t need to reinforce the stereotype.
  • I walk slowly. Why is… not important, just know that it’s not something I can do anything about. On my way to work this morning, I found myself waiting at a crosswalk with a random stranger who took off like a fecking rabbit when the light changed. I met up with them again at the next crosswalk, where they had been waiting impatiently for the light to change. It changed right as I walked up. This happen a total of four times. This person was mad, and I actually felt kind of bad about it, but what the heck was I supposed to do?
  • I don’t want this blog to become a catalog of my physical ailments, but man my thumb is annoyingly jammed or sprained or something. If this were an old TV show or movie (instead of my actual life) I’d be learning a valuable lesson right now about the importance of thumbs — but I KNEW THIS ALREADY. I swear to god, I’ve never taken my thumbs for granted, I’ve always known how lucky I was to have them, so my thumb just hurts and I’m not learning one damn thing.
Quick notes

RIP Cap’n Mitch

“He was the unofficial baby sitter for generations of latchkey kids, a humble host in a yachting cap whose tranquil voice could take the edge off even the harshest sugar high.” From: Cap’n Mitch lives on in our small-screen memories

Oh man, I hadn’t thought about Cap’n Mitch until I saw this, but I used to watch him all the time when I was a little kid. I remember that once, he was supposed to come to my preschool — they made a big deal out of it, but he didn’t show up. I briefly held a grudge about that, but I continued to watch him on TV, and managed to forgive him. Sail on, Cap’n, sail on.

RIP Cap’n Mitch

Fish pish

“Are invasive lionfish disrupting the nutrient balance, as well as the food web?” From: The Value of Fish Pee | Hakai Magazine / Via: The Morning News

Okay, I admit it. I didn’t read the article. I am only linking to it because I as soon as I realized that I could title this post what I did, I couldn’t stop myself. Yes, I’m a little ashamed — but until you have titled a post “Fish Pish” yourself, you have no idea how immensely satisfying it can be.

Fish pish

Good. Bad. I’m the one with the grinder

You know what? I like coffee. I’ve been drinking it nearly my whole life. And by that I specifically mean that I’ve been drinking it since I was two years old.

Also over the course of my whole life, I’ve tried very hard not to become a coffee connoisseur, because that which seems pretty okay to the ordinary person is intolerably bad to them. I may have no taste, but at least I live in a world where most cups of coffee are pretty good, rather than one in which most cups of coffee are shit. My consumption of coffee is a routine, if minor, pleasure — not a never ending, frustrating quest to chase the dragon.

Anyway, the point is I used to like coffee. And then I read this, and now I’m kind of like, you know what? Fuck coffee.

Good. Bad. I’m the one with the grinder

The rich and the ramen

Instant ramen is great. I’m glad that so many people like it. But I have to admit, I’m kind of tired of reading about it. Or, at least, I’m tired of reading certain types of writing about it — specifically, the stuff that’s like, “Remember when we had to eat ramen? Don’t you still kind of want to? Not that you have to! But aren’t you a little nostalgic for it?”

Look, it’s great that you’ve made it. You’ve reached a level of financial success that ensures that you have lots and lots of food options, to the point that you are no longer restricted to one dish or another out of sheer necessity, and I am happy for you. I think that’s great. I have not.

Yes, I’m almost forty, and I’ve been mostly consistently employed for the past twenty some-odd years, but I eat instant ramen almost every day because I really can’t afford to be spending much more than that on food. That means I am not nostalgic about it — the last time I ate instant ramen was about 20 minutes ago. Oh, what a heady time that was!

Anyway, it’s just a little bit galling to me to be reading these misty-eyed remembrances of meals gone by, because they come across as just a little bit smug and I’ve got mine-ish, and oh, you’re not talking to me, just your rich friends and the demographic cohort who read your fancy-ass magazine, oh okay, nevermind.

The rich and the ramen

Success stories!

We all love success stories, don’t we? And even if we don’t just play along with me here, ’cause I’m doing a thing. The point is, there are a lot of successful people in the world, so they’ve probably got something to say on the subject, something we can all hope to emulate in order to achieve our own success, right? To that end, here are three success stories to enlighten and inspire you.

Succeeder #1!

Q: What would you say is the most important skill for someone seeking to reach a similar level of success to the one that you have?

A: Hard work. I cannot stress this enough. You’ve got to put in the hours. You’ve got to show up, and you’ve got work your butt off if you want to succeed.

Q: Prior to achieving your enormous success, how did you pay for rent, food, and gasoline?

A: Um… well, actually, my parents… [trails off]

Succeeder #2!

Q: When aiming for great success, what is something that people should always be aware of?

A: Always remember, success is not necessarily about being totally original. Sometimes it’s about doing something better than anyone else has ever done it before. Sometimes it’s about combining two ideas that nobody’s ever tried before. But don’t be afraid to let other people and their ideas inspire you. Innovation is not something that happens in a vacuum, you are allowed to build on the past.

Q: Prior to achieving your enormous success, how did you pay for rent, food, and gasoline?

A: Um, well, my spouse actually, um….

Succeeder #3!

Q: Is there a mindset that one should adopt to enable oneself to be successful?

A: Absolutely. Inwardly, you should be focused on your goal, while outwardly seeking any opportunity you can to achieve that goal. Don’t allow your internal thoughts to distract you, don’t listen to all those doubts that say you “can’t” do it. And when you are out in the world, day to day, look for things you can do — large or small — that will move you closer to your goals. Talk to people. Ask questions. Meet everyone you can — someone out there might be able to help you, and vice versa.

Q: Prior to achieving your enormous success, how did you pay for rent, food, and gasoline?

A: I have a trust fund.

There you are, three unique and inspiring success stories! Armed with this knowledge, we ordinary proles can now stride forth into the future, confident in the fact that if they did it, anyone can!

Success stories!