An advice columnist will never tell someone to give up without a fight

“There are people who say that once they gave up on love, they became a lot happier. That makes a lot of sense to me and dovetails with my happiest single days. The aim of “giving up” here amounts to: (1) cutting out the kind of unfocused longing that drives you mad; (2) refusing to waste your time on an online-dating culture that mostly serves people looking for quick sex; and (3) committing to taking care of yourself instead of entertaining the notion that someone else can do this for you. But it doesn’t necessarily involve WRITING OFF LOVE FOREVER AND EVER.” [Emphasis mine] From: Ask Polly: Can I Find Love As a Single Mom? — The Cut

Far be it from me to contradict someone I respect so highly, but no, you’re wrong, it does. People who have love tend not to be able to see past their own situation — sort of like people who own juicers. It’s great! Everyone should have one! Even if you don’t have one, why would you deny the possibility that you could have your own juicer at some point in the future?! They can’t see that many, many, many people cannot find love and the only way for them to stop twisting themselves into bitter knots over that fact is to WRITE IT OFF FOREVER AND EVER. We all do what we need to survive, all right?

An advice columnist will never tell someone to give up without a fight

2 thoughts on “An advice columnist will never tell someone to give up without a fight

  1. jenfullmoon says:

    Hah, just saw this. Nobody who can find love easily, or has it now, is going to tell you to give it up. They will lecture you that you can still find love at 99 years old. Assuming you still want it then and can enjoy the 98 years you had without it, or whatever.

    I liked other things in that post, but in general, getting people to understand being unable to find anyone is incredibly difficult. If you’re not a mutant at table nine, you do have hope. The mutants, though…


    1. Too right. What I find weird about the advice that assumes you can still find love at 99 is that it’s often targeted at women who seek men, when the older you get, the fewer men there are who are… um, alive? Just statistically, it’s a bad situation is all I’m saying.

      Also, the surviving older men out there tend to be weird as hell at that age. I can’t back that up with science or anything, it’s just a personal observation that feels true to me.


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